There are two types of people in the world. Those who use umbrellas and those who don’t. I happen to live in the Metro Vancouver area where it rains as often as I wish I could have a nap. That’s pretty freaking often!
Like most people, I was raised to use umbrellas. They were a must-have accessory in our neck of the woods. We had long umbrellas, folding umbrellas, assorted colors and sizes. Umbrella everywhere!
But somewhere along the line I decided to stop the madness and just give up on umbrellas and here is my list of whys.
1. You can’t use both hands. I have three kids and all of them needed strollers at some point. Just try to juggle pushing a stroller with one hand while negotiating a crowded sidewalk full of other walking umbrellas. Now imagine the wind is blowing fiercely. Somebody is going to lose am eyeball in that scenario, especially if you’re driving an “umbrella”stroller with two hand grips instead of the single handlebar to push the stroller forward and steer. What if you wanted to buy a coffee and a muffin in the way to work? What if you were rushing to find bus fare in your purse or pockets. All things that are a pain in the ass with one hand.
2. I’m always cold. Umbrellas keep you dry, but not warm. What if your hand is freezing but you don’t have gloves with you? There’s no huddling up with your hands in your pockets if you have to hold an umbrella. I find myself constantly switching hands but never feeling warm enough. With my fabulous lined rain jacket, I feel way warmer than holding an umbrella.
3. I am forgetful. I have this thing called brain fog. It started with pregnancy and never went away. What do I do with umbrellas? Forget them. An umbrella forgotten somewhere is a useless umbrella. How do you forget am umbrella? Easy… It rains on the way to work, but the rain stops by the time you get to go home. Boom.. Forgotten umbrella.
4. Freaking wind storms. Wind storms in the autumn days of Raincouver are becoming more and more common. I hate wind. I hate what it does to my skin and hair. I hate what it does to umbrellas. I’m am hopelessly awkward enough without adding the comical vision of me struggling to hang on to an umbrella in a wind storm.
5. My family breaks everything. Toys, major appliances, you name it, we’ve broken it. There’s nothing useful about a broken umbrella.
But you know there is one type of umbrella I do like. The best umbrellas are the ones somebody else holds for you!
Have fun jumping in muddy puddles Vancouverites!