I Can’t Swim

Nope.  Can’t swim.  Aaand I’m going to Hawaii in a few weeks.

I remember in kindergarten going to swimming lessons with my elementary school.  I was in the absolute lowest level, so all I remember was bobbing up and down in the pool singing ,”The people on the bus go up and down.”  I didn’t learn how to swim at those lessons.

Wading in the water.  No swimming skills required.

Parents back then in the 70s and 80s were a bit more hands-off than we are now.  My parents had assumed because I went to a couple of swimming lessons, that I knew how to swim.  But my mom can’t swim either, so they never really took me anywhere that required swimming to confirm their belief about my abilities in the water.  So back to present day…
This will be my second trip to Oahu.  My first time was in 2009, when I only had two boys, and my younger son was only nine months old.  I went to attend the wedding of my close friend, so my trip consisted mainly of wedding related activities.  With an infant, I wasn’t really looking to go snorkeling or shark-cage diving.

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Rushing to see the sights on our last day in Oahu. No time for sunbathing or wading!

We only spent a day doing a driving tour around the island before we had to fly home.  What I mean to say, is that my lack of swimming ability had no effect on that first trip.

This year,  however, I really thought I could take some adult swimming lessons prior to our trip.  We’re staying at Aulani, and there are beautiful pools there, a lazy river, a lagoon, not to mention all of the water related activities all around the island.  But life got in the way again.

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This knee scooter got me through some tough times. And was good for more than a few laughs at work!

Our trip is in November.  I sprained my ankle at the end of June, so I was in a brace for two months until August.  I couldn’t drive.  I went to work on a knee-scooter, then crutches.  My condition started flaring, making me exhausted and suffering from IBD symptoms.  I was in no shape to take swimming lessons. Then school started in September and I could barely keep my crap together to get the kids out of the door on time.  And  I couldn’t do my planned return to jogging to get a bikini body before the trip.  So now  I’m still saggy in the middle.  Blame my third child and all the manifestations of Murphy’s law that have happened from June until now.

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My baby girl is actually learning how to swim.  She’s already better than I am.

Now here I am in October.  A brand new fit-and-flare tankini to hide by saggy baby belly skin and all the pizza and fried chicken I eat, and no closer to swimming than I was before the summer.  So I guess I’ll do what I always do at the beach:  lie on the sand surrounded by my kids building sand castles and occasionally walk about calf-deep in the water, while keeping my littlest ones from running further into the surf.

I guess I can save shark-cage diving for the next trip.  Anyone have suggestions for Oahu activities that I can do that don’t involve swimming?  Leave me a note in the comments!


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